Where did my hope go?

I went back to the RE yesterday. We kind of had the idea from Sunday's appointment that I would be stimming one more night. Sure enough, we will be. That's o.k. I would rather do it one more night; that way we get more eggs and more eggs of better quality. Yes, I would have loved to have triggered last night. But, today will be just as good.

Tuesday's RE appointment -
Lining great! Load of follies on both sides! E2 2394! One problem...... on the side where my 'bad' tube is, my RE spotted some fluid at the end of the tube. It seems as though that tube has closed back up after my LAP. I knew right away this couldn't be a good thing. She said that it could hurt the chances of this cycle working. She said, "it's slim." I just knew something was going to go wrong. Everything was going so well. I am so mad at myself. Why was I so selfish when I had my LAP. I didn't want to lose a tube. I begged her to try to save it. She did. However, now it has apparently closed back-up. And, that fluid could be toxic to an embryo(s) that is/are trying to implant in my uterus. Why? Why didn't I make the right decision? Why do I still have the tube? We wouldn't be dealing with this right now.... only if.....

Wednesday's RE appointment -
Lining even better! Loads of follies on both sides still! E2 2670. hmm... that didn't go up as much as I thought it would. Hopefully, it will continue to go up a little more today throughout the day. Well, the 'problem' is still there. We are worried about it of course. She basically said though, "back in the olden days (when IVF was first around) people used to get pregnant all of time with a situation just likes mine." She also said that she did not see in fluid in the cavity. So, maybe it's not draining? hmmm..... mind going crazy. I need to remain optimistic. I need to relax again. Stress is NOT good at this point.

Outline of the next few days -
Tonight - NO Glucophage, Trigger with 10,000iu at EXACTLY 7:30pm
Thursday - day off.... how strange : )
Friday - Arrive @ Clinic @ 6:45am, ER set for 7:30am, Start Medrol in evening
Saturday- Get fertilization Report in AM, PIO, Medrol, Baby Aspirin, Restart Glucophage

(Continue with Prenatal, Folic Acid & Synthroid as normal)

Yesterday was our 2 year anniversary! I can't believe it; time has gone by so quickly!