Baby C first trip to the pumpkin patch. 10.23.10
During the hayride.
Before going into the cornmaze that was supposed to take 45 minutes.
Coming out of the cornmaze 1hr 30mins later!
1 day ago
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
200th Post - Exciting News
I can't believe it, this is my 200th post!
Last Friday (10.22),we decided to stay around the house. We had a busy Saturday planned, so we had fun cuddled up inside. During Baby C's evening playtime, something very exciting happened...
She rolled over! Yes, it was front to back, but we were so excited. I didn't get pictures of it, but I did get it on video. We kept putting her on her tummy to see if she would do it again. And, she did! She rolled both ways (tummy to the right and tummy to the left). We are so proud of our Baby Girl!
Friday, October 29, 2010
DH's BDay Pictures
My DH's birthday was last Thursday (10.21). Here are a few pictures from throughout this special day:
My DH was really excited when we texted him this picture while he was at work!
Baby C sat in her bumbo in the kitchen while I made brownies.
He loved it when he got a card for me, but even more when he got one from Baby C!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Mother's Exchanges- Heard of them?
About a month ago, I read about something called a Mother's Exchange. Basically, it's a huge indoor yard sale. The ones that we have been to are very organized. One that we went to even had bar codes for all of the items so that your items could be scanned at checkout. Basically, consignors sign-up to sale their items. For some of them, all of the profit goes to the seller and for others some of the profit also goes to the person or group who organized the event. One of them that we went to also had a $1 fee to get in. And ladies, get there early, it's like B.lack F.riday all over again (especially for the ones that are one day events).
I have been to four now and one of those I went to twice. Most of them are one day (about 4 hours) events held on a Saturday. One I went to this past week was open to the public Wednesday through Saturday. And, on Saturday most everything left was 50% off. I went to that one on Wednesday to catch the great deals on clothes, toys, etc... that I knew would go fast. Then, Saturday I went back to stock up on the 50% off deals. I love getting good deals. I am not ashamed of Good.will or yard sales. Many of the items you find at places like these can be barely worn/used and sometimes even have the orginal tags left on them. I am very careful with my inspections and as soon as I get my finds home I wash and/or santatizes them throughly.
I wish I would have taken pictures of all of my great deals and what these events look like. I will be honest; I have bought a lot at these events of the last couple of weeks. But, I couldn't pass up the great deals. I have bough sleepers for 50 cents up to 3 or 4 dollars (if I bought the 4 dollars ones they must have been new with tags). One sleeper that I bought, Nord.stram brand, was one dollar. I love G.ymboree clothes, but I just can't let myself pay some of those prices. But, I have found some great Gymbo. dresses for under $5. Most of the clothes that I have bought Baby C at these events have been for the seasons/months ahead. I have barely bought her anything that will fit her now.
We are going to another sale on November 6th, so I will take pictures then. I hear that this sale is normally HUGE! I will also try to remember to take pictures of some of the great buys as Baby C wears them!
At these sales, we have also scored some great deals on toys. I will also try to take some pictures of some of the toys we have found at great prices. I am telling you, I having been coming home with huge piles of goodies for $40 to $60.
One of the best deals we just bought at the sale this past week. It's the F.isher P.rice Rainforst Jumperoo. It looks BARELY used. We got it for $25!
Check out how much fun Baby C is having with one of her new toys!
I have been to four now and one of those I went to twice. Most of them are one day (about 4 hours) events held on a Saturday. One I went to this past week was open to the public Wednesday through Saturday. And, on Saturday most everything left was 50% off. I went to that one on Wednesday to catch the great deals on clothes, toys, etc... that I knew would go fast. Then, Saturday I went back to stock up on the 50% off deals. I love getting good deals. I am not ashamed of Good.will or yard sales. Many of the items you find at places like these can be barely worn/used and sometimes even have the orginal tags left on them. I am very careful with my inspections and as soon as I get my finds home I wash and/or santatizes them throughly.
I wish I would have taken pictures of all of my great deals and what these events look like. I will be honest; I have bought a lot at these events of the last couple of weeks. But, I couldn't pass up the great deals. I have bough sleepers for 50 cents up to 3 or 4 dollars (if I bought the 4 dollars ones they must have been new with tags). One sleeper that I bought, Nord.stram brand, was one dollar. I love G.ymboree clothes, but I just can't let myself pay some of those prices. But, I have found some great Gymbo. dresses for under $5. Most of the clothes that I have bought Baby C at these events have been for the seasons/months ahead. I have barely bought her anything that will fit her now.
We are going to another sale on November 6th, so I will take pictures then. I hear that this sale is normally HUGE! I will also try to remember to take pictures of some of the great buys as Baby C wears them!
At these sales, we have also scored some great deals on toys. I will also try to take some pictures of some of the toys we have found at great prices. I am telling you, I having been coming home with huge piles of goodies for $40 to $60.
One of the best deals we just bought at the sale this past week. It's the F.isher P.rice Rainforst Jumperoo. It looks BARELY used. We got it for $25!
Check out how much fun Baby C is having with one of her new toys!
We couldn't help but laugh!
So, check out your local newspapers, your Mom's Like Me website, etc... to see if events like this are held around your area. Normally, most organizations hold two a year (one in the spring/summer and the other in the fall/winter). You may have missed them for your area this year, but be on the lookout for them this spring. If you live in southeastern IN, southern OH and/or northwestern KY contact me about the one that is coming up!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Thoughts of the DH
Hello Everyone, Rachel has suggested that I write a guest blog entry. Warning, this is my first attempt and any type of entry so hang with me. I don’t know where to begin so I guess I will start at the beginning. When Rachel and I were dating adoption was the farthest thing from our conscience mind. Not that we didn’t believe in adoption, but rather we live in a community and went to school with very few people that we knew were adopted (once we adopted we now know several families that has been blessed by adoption).
Fast forward several months and we decided to begin planning for a family. The failure of infertility that resulted cut me deeply. I never told Rachel about this pain, because I tried to be the strong one for her. I wanted to let her know that it was OK; we would deal with whatever “cards” we were dealt. I remember the first time Rachel mentioned going to the adoption agency for an orientation meeting. Again, I was clueless about the process, but after the meeting I began to realize that adoption could be a route if we exhausted all other options.
The day that changed my life forever was the day Rachel and I received the call from our social worker. It was ironic because just the night before Rachel was chastising me for leaving my stuff lying around the house. She said “What are you going to do when we have a baby!” Yes, that’s right the night before we got the call she said that to me. Looking back we now know that our baby was born when she made this comment (now if I can get her to pick the lottery numbers). I am happy to report that things haven’t changed much, but I’m working on it. I figure that I have a couple months to work it out before “C” becomes mobile.
Fast forward several months and we decided to begin planning for a family. The failure of infertility that resulted cut me deeply. I never told Rachel about this pain, because I tried to be the strong one for her. I wanted to let her know that it was OK; we would deal with whatever “cards” we were dealt. I remember the first time Rachel mentioned going to the adoption agency for an orientation meeting. Again, I was clueless about the process, but after the meeting I began to realize that adoption could be a route if we exhausted all other options.
The day that changed my life forever was the day Rachel and I received the call from our social worker. It was ironic because just the night before Rachel was chastising me for leaving my stuff lying around the house. She said “What are you going to do when we have a baby!” Yes, that’s right the night before we got the call she said that to me. Looking back we now know that our baby was born when she made this comment (now if I can get her to pick the lottery numbers). I am happy to report that things haven’t changed much, but I’m working on it. I figure that I have a couple months to work it out before “C” becomes mobile.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
ICLW Surprise
Thursday marks the start of ICLW. Guess what? My DH has completed his first guest post just in time!
And..... Thursday is his birthday! Let's surprise him with birthday wishes when his post shows up!
And..... Thursday is his birthday! Let's surprise him with birthday wishes when his post shows up!
Thanks ahead blogging friends!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Questions Answered
Over the last several months, many of you have had questions for me. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to answer them all right away. Some of the questions I have simply missed, some of them I wasn’t ready to answer, others I didn’t/don’t know the answer to and on top of that I have just been plan busy with Baby C.
Here are some of the questions that you have had for me:
“Why weren't you supposed to know BM's last name?” We are in a semi-open adoption. She knows our first names since they were included in our profile. We learned her name the day that we got THE CALL. At our first meeting with Baby C’s BM, we learned the birthfather’s nickname. I talked about our BM’s last name in one of my previous post. The nurses at the hospital weren’t all on the same page therefore we heard her last name several times during our hospital experience. At our second meeting with Baby C’s BM, she elected to give us Baby C’s birth certificate. So, we now ‘officially’ know her last name. It’s just a matter of confidentiality on both ends. As you may have read, we also now know that we live very close to one another.
“I am assuming you guys have a close adoption?” We actually have a semi-open adoption. We were up for any type of relationship. Since our situation resulted from a hospital call (we were not matched until Baby C had already been born), no real discussion occurred ahead of time about the type of relationship that everyone was comfortable with. On her paperwork, Baby C’s BM did say that she would like pictures and visits a few times a year. But, again, she didn’t have a ton of time to think about this. We were so happy to learn, a few weeks after we brought Baby C home, that she wanted to meet with us.
“What is the deal with the birth certificate?” Baby C’s BM wanted us to pick our daughter’s name. Within hours of us arriving to the hospital the first day, they wanted us to name her. Luckily, they gave us until the next morning. After we did, the director of our agency gave the hospital records department the necessary information. Then, a birth certificate was requested and sent to our agency. But, again, they couldn’t just hand it us since it contained our BM’s last name. So, that’s when they handed it to her and she handed it to us. We will be able to apply for a new birth certificate after finalization which should be in late January or early February. Baby C’s last name will officially be changed to our last name.
“How do you feel about them living so close and the possibility of seeing them often?” We are comforatable with the idea of having them close by. At first, we were very apprehensive because we had no idea about the type of people that they were. No, we don’t know everything about Baby C’s birth family, but we feel much more comfortable now. Our biggest concern is them. There is only a select few people who know about their adoption plan…There are very few people that they know who know about Baby C. I am more worried about running into on them in public and how to handle that situation (especially if they are with someone else). We don’t want to put them in an awkward situation.
“I'm curious, is it awkward meeting at the agency? Our adoption is open, but very unstructured, so when we meet it's usually at T's house and very casual. This meeting sounds more formal?” Going into the two meetings that we have had so far we have ALL been very nervous. But, a few minutes into each we become at ease. Baby C’s BM has fed her at both meetings; we have taken pictures together and exchanged pictures. Baby C’s BM even gave her a plush blanket and hair clips. One of our social workers is in the meeting with us. She rarely says much, but did guide us a little during our initial visit. At our last visit, she left the room a couple of times for extended periods.
“How much longer will you have to go thru the agency for visits with her BM?” I am not sure. I guess that’s up to everyone involved. I would imagine the next step would be at a restaurant or park of some sort, but with our social worker there. We plan to meet again closer to the holiday, but that will be at the agency. We are very hopeful that we will get to meet Baby C’s birthfather.
“Where are you finding the Huge Bows at?!” It’s simple. I have ordered several from e.bay, boutiques hosted on Face. Book and through Etsy dot com.
“Where did you get those adorable leggings/pants/legwarmers?” That’s simple also. I ordered them from the same places as the bows. If you check out some of my previous posts about bows I included links to several of my favorite stores.
“How did your adoption work? Through an agency or some other means?” We are working with a local agency. We will have to retain a lawyer for the finalization process.
“Could you figure out what the comment in the other language said?” This what was originally written: “Assolutamente d'accordo con lei. Mi piace la tua idea. Offerta di mettere una discussione generale. E 'vero! Penso che questo sia una buona idea. Pienamente d'accordo con lei.” And, this is what it translated into: “Absolutely agree with you. I like your idea. Offered as a general discussion. It 's true! I think this is a good idea. Fully agree with you.”
… It didn’t make much sense with the post with was included with. So, who knows. Maybe it was just spam.
“Will you still pursue fertility treatments now that you have Baby C?” We have no clue where we are as far as fertility treatments. As of right now, we are enjoying being parents to Baby C. She is our miracle!
“Did you have any fears about adoption? And now that you have Baby C have those fears went away?” We had fears about the cost, the wait time, the decision of races to be open to, the idea of never being picked, the emotional toll on the birth family, the acceptance of our family…. I am sure that there are more. We still think about many of these issues daily. But, really how does any of that matter when we have Baby C here with us. We are beyond blessed.
“Right now I'm overwhelmed with the 55 questions on our questionnaire. How much info is too much?” Both my DH and I had to complete a 19 question autobiography during the first part of our adoption process. This was for the use of our social worker doing our homestudy. Then, for our profile, we were able to pretty much do what we wanted. The main thing that I could suggest is to be honest. I think that it also important that your DH’s helps so that his point-of-view is included. Remember to not get frustrated, write a little and then take a break.
Here are some of the questions that you have had for me:
“Why weren't you supposed to know BM's last name?” We are in a semi-open adoption. She knows our first names since they were included in our profile. We learned her name the day that we got THE CALL. At our first meeting with Baby C’s BM, we learned the birthfather’s nickname. I talked about our BM’s last name in one of my previous post. The nurses at the hospital weren’t all on the same page therefore we heard her last name several times during our hospital experience. At our second meeting with Baby C’s BM, she elected to give us Baby C’s birth certificate. So, we now ‘officially’ know her last name. It’s just a matter of confidentiality on both ends. As you may have read, we also now know that we live very close to one another.
“I am assuming you guys have a close adoption?” We actually have a semi-open adoption. We were up for any type of relationship. Since our situation resulted from a hospital call (we were not matched until Baby C had already been born), no real discussion occurred ahead of time about the type of relationship that everyone was comfortable with. On her paperwork, Baby C’s BM did say that she would like pictures and visits a few times a year. But, again, she didn’t have a ton of time to think about this. We were so happy to learn, a few weeks after we brought Baby C home, that she wanted to meet with us.
“What is the deal with the birth certificate?” Baby C’s BM wanted us to pick our daughter’s name. Within hours of us arriving to the hospital the first day, they wanted us to name her. Luckily, they gave us until the next morning. After we did, the director of our agency gave the hospital records department the necessary information. Then, a birth certificate was requested and sent to our agency. But, again, they couldn’t just hand it us since it contained our BM’s last name. So, that’s when they handed it to her and she handed it to us. We will be able to apply for a new birth certificate after finalization which should be in late January or early February. Baby C’s last name will officially be changed to our last name.
“How do you feel about them living so close and the possibility of seeing them often?” We are comforatable with the idea of having them close by. At first, we were very apprehensive because we had no idea about the type of people that they were. No, we don’t know everything about Baby C’s birth family, but we feel much more comfortable now. Our biggest concern is them. There is only a select few people who know about their adoption plan…There are very few people that they know who know about Baby C. I am more worried about running into on them in public and how to handle that situation (especially if they are with someone else). We don’t want to put them in an awkward situation.
“I'm curious, is it awkward meeting at the agency? Our adoption is open, but very unstructured, so when we meet it's usually at T's house and very casual. This meeting sounds more formal?” Going into the two meetings that we have had so far we have ALL been very nervous. But, a few minutes into each we become at ease. Baby C’s BM has fed her at both meetings; we have taken pictures together and exchanged pictures. Baby C’s BM even gave her a plush blanket and hair clips. One of our social workers is in the meeting with us. She rarely says much, but did guide us a little during our initial visit. At our last visit, she left the room a couple of times for extended periods.
“How much longer will you have to go thru the agency for visits with her BM?” I am not sure. I guess that’s up to everyone involved. I would imagine the next step would be at a restaurant or park of some sort, but with our social worker there. We plan to meet again closer to the holiday, but that will be at the agency. We are very hopeful that we will get to meet Baby C’s birthfather.
“Where are you finding the Huge Bows at?!” It’s simple. I have ordered several from e.bay, boutiques hosted on Face. Book and through Etsy dot com.
“Where did you get those adorable leggings/pants/legwarmers?” That’s simple also. I ordered them from the same places as the bows. If you check out some of my previous posts about bows I included links to several of my favorite stores.
“How did your adoption work? Through an agency or some other means?” We are working with a local agency. We will have to retain a lawyer for the finalization process.
“Could you figure out what the comment in the other language said?” This what was originally written: “Assolutamente d'accordo con lei. Mi piace la tua idea. Offerta di mettere una discussione generale. E 'vero! Penso che questo sia una buona idea. Pienamente d'accordo con lei.” And, this is what it translated into: “Absolutely agree with you. I like your idea. Offered as a general discussion. It 's true! I think this is a good idea. Fully agree with you.”
… It didn’t make much sense with the post with was included with. So, who knows. Maybe it was just spam.
“Will you still pursue fertility treatments now that you have Baby C?” We have no clue where we are as far as fertility treatments. As of right now, we are enjoying being parents to Baby C. She is our miracle!
“Did you have any fears about adoption? And now that you have Baby C have those fears went away?” We had fears about the cost, the wait time, the decision of races to be open to, the idea of never being picked, the emotional toll on the birth family, the acceptance of our family…. I am sure that there are more. We still think about many of these issues daily. But, really how does any of that matter when we have Baby C here with us. We are beyond blessed.
“Right now I'm overwhelmed with the 55 questions on our questionnaire. How much info is too much?” Both my DH and I had to complete a 19 question autobiography during the first part of our adoption process. This was for the use of our social worker doing our homestudy. Then, for our profile, we were able to pretty much do what we wanted. The main thing that I could suggest is to be honest. I think that it also important that your DH’s helps so that his point-of-view is included. Remember to not get frustrated, write a little and then take a break.
More questions? Don't hesitate to ask!
You can post them in a comment or email them to me
(check out the link to my email on the left side of my homepage).
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Nursery- Part 2
Make sure that you check out my Questions Post.
It's taken me forever to get this post up because it has taken us forever to finish Baby C's nursery. Is a nursery ever finish? Of course, due to the timing of our match we had nothing completed ahead of time. Check out THIS post to see the first steps. We went from of room that held our odd-and-ends, to a nursery in progress, to a nursery that had everything perfectly placed and now to a nursery that Baby C is alredy growing out of. We have NO room. Part of the issue is the generosity of others. Now, I know that's really not an issue or a problem, but Baby C's picture perfect nursery is now also a storage room. She has toys, diapers, clothes, etc.. that she won't be using for months. Which is great! So, take a peek around her room!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Questions, for me?
I am overwhelmed by your response to my last post. It's nice to know that I have followers! I will be following your stories soon (if I'm not already)!
Since went brought Baby C home in mid-July, I have noticed many new comments, a huge increase in page views (thanks to Blog.spot for the Stats tab) and a quick rise above 100+ followers.
As you could imagine, Baby C has kept me very busy. I have been doing really well at keeping up with the blogs I have followed, but have not done my best at responding to many of your comments and following your on your journeys.
Many of you have had questions for me. I have gone back several posts trying to find them all, but I know that I may have missed several. My plan is respond to those and any new questions in an upcoming post.
If you have a question for me, about our adoption, my LOVE of bows, the nursery, ANYTHING... jusk ask! If you don't want to leave it in a comment, just email me. You can find my email addy through my email tab on the left hand side of my homepage.
I can't wait to see what questions you have!
Since went brought Baby C home in mid-July, I have noticed many new comments, a huge increase in page views (thanks to Blog.spot for the Stats tab) and a quick rise above 100+ followers.
As you could imagine, Baby C has kept me very busy. I have been doing really well at keeping up with the blogs I have followed, but have not done my best at responding to many of your comments and following your on your journeys.
Many of you have had questions for me. I have gone back several posts trying to find them all, but I know that I may have missed several. My plan is respond to those and any new questions in an upcoming post.
If you have a question for me, about our adoption, my LOVE of bows, the nursery, ANYTHING... jusk ask! If you don't want to leave it in a comment, just email me. You can find my email addy through my email tab on the left hand side of my homepage.
I can't wait to see what questions you have!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Delurk For Me
National Delurking Day/Week is sometime in January, correct? I have never participated.
Lately, I have been posting more. Lots of changes have happened for our now family of three. Blogging has been a therapy for me. Blogging has become very important to our family.
When I first started this blog, I didn't go out and seek readers. I barely commented on others' blogs. But, now I do. I love to follow the stories of others.
So, I am having my own delurking couple of days. My goal is to post comments on the blogs that I read, but never post (or post regularly) on for the next couple of days until my next post. I would like to delurk at least 10 blogs! I ask you to do the same.
I would love to follow YOUR story! Let me know that you are reading. How did you find me?
Lately, I have been posting more. Lots of changes have happened for our now family of three. Blogging has been a therapy for me. Blogging has become very important to our family.
When I first started this blog, I didn't go out and seek readers. I barely commented on others' blogs. But, now I do. I love to follow the stories of others.
So, I am having my own delurking couple of days. My goal is to post comments on the blogs that I read, but never post (or post regularly) on for the next couple of days until my next post. I would like to delurk at least 10 blogs! I ask you to do the same.
I would love to follow YOUR story! Let me know that you are reading. How did you find me?
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Background Details
I haven't lied. I just haven't been forthcoming. That's ok in our situation. In adoption some things just have to be that way. From day one we knew our situation was different.
I remember our agency's director asking us where we worked again during THE CALL. I thought that was strange. I remember her repeatedly telling us that someone in Baby C's birth family could have connections to one of the schools that we worked at. I remember her telling us that were all from the same side of the city. I remember my DH and I trying to playout all of the possible scenarios in our heads. Did we know someone in the birth family? Did they know us somehow? Did they recognize something in our profile? Is that why they picked us? Etc...
Then, it got really crazy. The day of our first post-placement visit our SW asked us where a certain gas station was. We started to freak out. It was like 5 minutes from our house. Come to find it was another gas station, but one that was only like 10 minutes from our house. She was meeting our BF there for him to sign his final papers.
We went to our first meeting with Baby C's BM and learned even more. She started dropping names of towns. Yikes! We know those places. We shop there. We eat there. We golf there. She wore school identifying accessories. The school we went to as high schoolers... the same high school my DH works at... plays their school. We are rivals.
At our second meeting, more information was dropped. We learned her last name (she gave us Baby C's birth certificate.) Which isn't actually the truth either. The nurses at the hospital weren't very good with keeping the BM's last name confidential (the wrist band on Baby C). When Baby C was being discharged one nurse came in almost screaming...IS THIS THE ------ FAMILY? Using the last name of our BM! During the second meeting, the BM used the names of towns again.
After walking out of the agency's office last Tuesday, I will admit we immediately openned up the envelope with Baby C's birth certificate. No information was put in the BF's section. Darn! But, our BM's last name was just as we thought.
We headed straight for the mall. I was in the shopping mood. I remember our BM saying that her friend had parked at this same mall and then drove with our BM to the meeting. Just so you know this mall is about 30 mintues from the agency and then we live another 35 mintues further from there. We left the agency I would say around 6:05pm. So, we got to the mall around 6:35pm. I went to several stores and found great deals for Baby C. We were hungry so we headed to a restaurant located inside of the mall. Around 8pm my DH got a look of shock on his face. He said, "You're never going to believe who's here!" I turned around and saw Baby C's BM and her friend. They didn't see us. Crap! We had even jokingly talked about this happening earlier in our mall adventure.
I called our SW. After they had left the agency earlier, we had talked with our SW's about telling the birth family about how close we live together at our next meeting or in some fashion. We knew that seeing them in a publice setting could happen. We didn't know it was going to be so soon though. Our SW and us agreed that we didn't think that a restaurant would be the best idea. Our SW gave us pointers on how to handle the situation.
Almost right after I hung up the phone, they saw us. We were all in shock, but them especially. We knew that we lived close together, they had no idea. Would they be mad? Would Baby C's BM be happy? Disappointed? Would this hurt our relationship?
We payed our bill. We loaded up and started to leave. They were sitting at a table on our way out. We treated it like a situation of seeing friends in public. They were amazed! We joked about it being OUR mall and they joked about it being THEIR mall. Apparently, they had stopped at another mall after the meeting and that's why they were just then getting there. We left with a simple "It was nice to see you again."
.........Our SW called me the next day to see how it went. We have decided to write our BM a note explaining how it was crazy to see them at the mall, but also say that it could happen again. I am going to write in the letter that we need to talk about it at our next meeting. I don't think that it would be the right thing to do to write it all out in a letter. I plan on sending more pictures and that letter when Baby C's 3 months here in a couple of weeks.
I remember our agency's director asking us where we worked again during THE CALL. I thought that was strange. I remember her repeatedly telling us that someone in Baby C's birth family could have connections to one of the schools that we worked at. I remember her telling us that were all from the same side of the city. I remember my DH and I trying to playout all of the possible scenarios in our heads. Did we know someone in the birth family? Did they know us somehow? Did they recognize something in our profile? Is that why they picked us? Etc...
Then, it got really crazy. The day of our first post-placement visit our SW asked us where a certain gas station was. We started to freak out. It was like 5 minutes from our house. Come to find it was another gas station, but one that was only like 10 minutes from our house. She was meeting our BF there for him to sign his final papers.
We went to our first meeting with Baby C's BM and learned even more. She started dropping names of towns. Yikes! We know those places. We shop there. We eat there. We golf there. She wore school identifying accessories. The school we went to as high schoolers... the same high school my DH works at... plays their school. We are rivals.
At our second meeting, more information was dropped. We learned her last name (she gave us Baby C's birth certificate.) Which isn't actually the truth either. The nurses at the hospital weren't very good with keeping the BM's last name confidential (the wrist band on Baby C). When Baby C was being discharged one nurse came in almost screaming...IS THIS THE ------ FAMILY? Using the last name of our BM! During the second meeting, the BM used the names of towns again.
After walking out of the agency's office last Tuesday, I will admit we immediately openned up the envelope with Baby C's birth certificate. No information was put in the BF's section. Darn! But, our BM's last name was just as we thought.
We headed straight for the mall. I was in the shopping mood. I remember our BM saying that her friend had parked at this same mall and then drove with our BM to the meeting. Just so you know this mall is about 30 mintues from the agency and then we live another 35 mintues further from there. We left the agency I would say around 6:05pm. So, we got to the mall around 6:35pm. I went to several stores and found great deals for Baby C. We were hungry so we headed to a restaurant located inside of the mall. Around 8pm my DH got a look of shock on his face. He said, "You're never going to believe who's here!" I turned around and saw Baby C's BM and her friend. They didn't see us. Crap! We had even jokingly talked about this happening earlier in our mall adventure.
I called our SW. After they had left the agency earlier, we had talked with our SW's about telling the birth family about how close we live together at our next meeting or in some fashion. We knew that seeing them in a publice setting could happen. We didn't know it was going to be so soon though. Our SW and us agreed that we didn't think that a restaurant would be the best idea. Our SW gave us pointers on how to handle the situation.
Almost right after I hung up the phone, they saw us. We were all in shock, but them especially. We knew that we lived close together, they had no idea. Would they be mad? Would Baby C's BM be happy? Disappointed? Would this hurt our relationship?
We payed our bill. We loaded up and started to leave. They were sitting at a table on our way out. We treated it like a situation of seeing friends in public. They were amazed! We joked about it being OUR mall and they joked about it being THEIR mall. Apparently, they had stopped at another mall after the meeting and that's why they were just then getting there. We left with a simple "It was nice to see you again."
.........Our SW called me the next day to see how it went. We have decided to write our BM a note explaining how it was crazy to see them at the mall, but also say that it could happen again. I am going to write in the letter that we need to talk about it at our next meeting. I don't think that it would be the right thing to do to write it all out in a letter. I plan on sending more pictures and that letter when Baby C's 3 months here in a couple of weeks.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Meeting Up With Baby C's BM
Tuesday - 9.28.10
At our last meeting, we all agreed that we wanted to meet up again. Baby C's BM told us that the birthfather wanted to come. We were anxious. So, sometime that next week we told our SW of some possible dates. Baby C's BM then narrowed it down some more. We made the final decision on the date and time based upon the thought that the birthfather could attend on the dates that we were told. Apparently, it hadn't been cleared. So, we waited to find out if Baby C's BF would be attending or not.
A couple of days before our meeting, we found out that he wouldn't be, but we didn't want to cancel the meeting. We were all too excited!
We had agreed with our SW ahead of time that this would be the last meeting with our BM for a while (woould not matter if the BF attended or not). (We had already given three sets of pictures and had one meeting.)
That morning we went to our local county fair. My DH had off of work the entire week since it happens during the school year.
We then went straight to the agency. When we got there, everyone was waiting for us in the waiting area of the agency. We found out that our BM wasn't able to pick up the pictures that we had mailed to the agency. Apparently, she tried one afternoon, but everyone had already left the agency for the day. Of course, the BF was not there, but our BM's friend came with her again. We were happy to see her too!
The meeting started around 4pm and ended around 5:50pm when our SW said it was time to wrap it up. It felt comfortable for the most part. We talked about Baby C most of the time. We also talked more about the bows she had dropped off and the bows that she had bought for Baby C that day. Apparently, she has more on the way still. Baby C's BM gave us two cards. One of the cards was a general card and the other was Halloween themed. We found out the Baby C's BF had helped out with the first card. We talked about work and school. A couple of times our SW left the room. And, at one point, my DH left the room to take a call from his Dad (his uncle had been taken to the hospital--he is just fine now). During one of the times the SW left the room, Baby C's BM offered to show us a picture of the BF on her phone (it was her backgroud picture). It was our first look. I will never forget it. We learned that he had planned on coming, but he had a job interview that he simply couldn't pass up. I really hope Baby C gets to meet him someday...
The SW told us, at one point during the meeting, that she had Baby C's birth certificate. She wasn't allowed to give it to us, but she told our BM that if she wanted us to have it she could give it to us. She said yes. So, our SW handed it to our BM and she then immediately handed it to us.
We ended the meeting with hugs. Instead of walking out together, we stayed back in the office. Since we live further than 50 miles from our agency, we have an upcharge for milage (for post placement visits.) We received the bill. Joy! Everyone asked us how it went and wished us luck. We were then on our way. But, our exciting evening wasn't over yet...
There's a lot I haven't been completely truthful about....well I should say forthcoming about when it comes to our situation. I will try my best to explain in my next post... I won't leave you in suspense for too long!
At our last meeting, we all agreed that we wanted to meet up again. Baby C's BM told us that the birthfather wanted to come. We were anxious. So, sometime that next week we told our SW of some possible dates. Baby C's BM then narrowed it down some more. We made the final decision on the date and time based upon the thought that the birthfather could attend on the dates that we were told. Apparently, it hadn't been cleared. So, we waited to find out if Baby C's BF would be attending or not.
A couple of days before our meeting, we found out that he wouldn't be, but we didn't want to cancel the meeting. We were all too excited!
We had agreed with our SW ahead of time that this would be the last meeting with our BM for a while (woould not matter if the BF attended or not). (We had already given three sets of pictures and had one meeting.)
That morning we went to our local county fair. My DH had off of work the entire week since it happens during the school year.
We then went straight to the agency. When we got there, everyone was waiting for us in the waiting area of the agency. We found out that our BM wasn't able to pick up the pictures that we had mailed to the agency. Apparently, she tried one afternoon, but everyone had already left the agency for the day. Of course, the BF was not there, but our BM's friend came with her again. We were happy to see her too!
The meeting started around 4pm and ended around 5:50pm when our SW said it was time to wrap it up. It felt comfortable for the most part. We talked about Baby C most of the time. We also talked more about the bows she had dropped off and the bows that she had bought for Baby C that day. Apparently, she has more on the way still. Baby C's BM gave us two cards. One of the cards was a general card and the other was Halloween themed. We found out the Baby C's BF had helped out with the first card. We talked about work and school. A couple of times our SW left the room. And, at one point, my DH left the room to take a call from his Dad (his uncle had been taken to the hospital--he is just fine now). During one of the times the SW left the room, Baby C's BM offered to show us a picture of the BF on her phone (it was her backgroud picture). It was our first look. I will never forget it. We learned that he had planned on coming, but he had a job interview that he simply couldn't pass up. I really hope Baby C gets to meet him someday...
The SW told us, at one point during the meeting, that she had Baby C's birth certificate. She wasn't allowed to give it to us, but she told our BM that if she wanted us to have it she could give it to us. She said yes. So, our SW handed it to our BM and she then immediately handed it to us.
We ended the meeting with hugs. Instead of walking out together, we stayed back in the office. Since we live further than 50 miles from our agency, we have an upcharge for milage (for post placement visits.) We received the bill. Joy! Everyone asked us how it went and wished us luck. We were then on our way. But, our exciting evening wasn't over yet...
There's a lot I haven't been completely truthful about....well I should say forthcoming about when it comes to our situation. I will try my best to explain in my next post... I won't leave you in suspense for too long!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Blog Stats
To those of you with blogspot...
Have you checked out the tab called Stats? I just discovered this a week or so ago. It's amazing what they track!
Have you checked out the tab called Stats? I just discovered this a week or so ago. It's amazing what they track!
My number one read post of all time was THIS one! It's one of my favorites also!
Most of my readers get here from AMBER's blog! Thanks Amber!
A lot of my readers also follow me here from FF (F.ertility F.riend)!
In the recent days, I received my first inappropriate, spam, comment. Eww.....
I also received a comment in another language. Interesting.
Don't forget:
If you have my site linked on yours to change "Our Journey, but Not Our Plan" to "Plans Change"
In the recent days, I received my first inappropriate, spam, comment. Eww.....
I also received a comment in another language. Interesting.
Don't forget:
If you have my site linked on yours to change "Our Journey, but Not Our Plan" to "Plans Change"
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
Adoption Teddy Bear
At Baby C's party last week, the one my colleagues held, we received this:
Apparently, for each one of these sold $3 is donated towards adoption. I found this SITE. Check it out!
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