Friday, September 10, 2010

Meeting with Baby C's BM

September 3, 2010 will be another day that I never forget. Baby C and I spent most of the day at home. I did a few things around the house, but most of my time was used up being anxious. In the days before, I had been busy picking out outfits for Baby C’s first professional pictures. But, I hadn’t really decided what she was going to wear for our meeting. I’ll be honest; during the summer I slack in getting myself ready for the day. It was pretty bad this summer. I had been feeling very defeated. And, then when Baby C came home I simply didn’t have time. So, I was excited to actually to ‘get ready’ for once. I was happy with how I looked. Picking out Baby C’s outfit was easier than I thought it would be. The dress she wore had been too big in the weeks prior, but it fit that day. Of course, I topped off her ensemble with a bow. When my DH got home, he complimented me and then changed out of his dress clothes.

We left soon after my DH got home. Before going to the agency, we stopped at K.roger to print more pictures to take to the birth family. Even though I knew we had plenty of time, I was in a complete rush. That stop only took about 15 minutes.

The ride to the agency seemed like it took forever! There would be moments of complete silence and when we did talk it was mainly about the meeting ahead. What would we say? Would they like us? Would the BF be there? Would she look like we had remembered her? What would come next? And so on.

We got to the agency a few minutes early. I parked in the back of the lot and made Baby C a bottle. I knew that she would want to eat soon and I wanted there to be plenty of time for the bubbles to settle. I checked my makeup and hair. We turned our phones on silent. I moved up closer in the parking lot.

As we walked into the front doors of the agency, our SW came out to meet us. They must have seen us through the windows. I put a bow on Baby C and held her. My DH carried in the car seat. As we turned the corner, we were told that Baby C’s BM was there and she was very anxious. Baby C’s BM brought her friend with her to the meeting.

Here are some of the main things that I am taking away from our meeting:
• She looked like I remember her except taller.
• Her friend was amazing.
• We found out that this friend found out about the pregnancy one day and the next was called and told to get to the hospital because Baby C’s BM was in labor. She was in the delivery room.
• Baby C’s BF wanted to be there, but couldn’t due to tending to a family member.
• We learned the BF’s nickname (we don’t know his name yet).
• We found out the Baby C’s BM has at least one brother and his name is the same name as one of DH’s brothers.
• Baby C’s BM’s birthday is going to be easy for us to remember.
• Baby C’s BM picked us because of what I teach, what there is to do around our house and because of our dogs. She really liked the chart of facts that we put into our profile.
• Baby C’s BM wore a black hoodie and jeans. She had on her boyfriend’s class ring and her senior pendant.
• We learned where Baby C’s BM works and about her college plans.
• Everyone loved the pictures that we had brought.
• Baby C’s BM and her friend had pictures on their phones of Baby C from the day of her birth. It was amazing to see them all. I really hope that I can get copies of those pictures one day.
• The SW took pictures of all of us.
• Another SW that we had worked with stopped in to check in on all of us.
• We talked a little bit about what we wanted our open adoption to look like

Our meeting started around 5:30pm and we had to leave at 7pm since the building that our agency is in closes at that time. I bet that we could have talked for hours. Baby C’s BM held Baby C for much of the meeting. She even fed her. It was neat seeing her interact with Baby C. She got to see Baby C a little upset, but also saw her smiling from ear to ear. At the end of the meeting, she went to hand Baby C to me and said something to the point of “I am going to hand you back to your Mommy.” My heart melted. I told her that she could put Baby C in her car seat. I asked if it would be ok if I gave her a hug. It was simply wonderful.

We all walked out together and said our goodbyes. The SW walked out with them, but they ended up leaving the parking lot before we did. As we were leaving our SW waved us down. She told us the friend said, “I approve!” Apparently, this friend had tried to stop Baby C’s BM from going through with the adoption, but was there for her in the end. Our SW thinks that Baby C’s BM will want to meet again soon so that Baby C’s BF could meet us all…..

After a great dinner at T.G.I.F, we headed home. I can’t wait for this journey to continue.

8 comments:

Circus Princess said... [Reply to comment]

What a fantastic and powerful meeting. I'm so happy it all went so well. Baby C is one lucky little girl :)

Maria said... [Reply to comment]

Tears Tears Tears!! We too have a relationship with our Jori's (5 months) birth family. It is the greatest to know that you will have all the answers your sweet precious angel will need to know . . . and there are never too many people that can love a child! Congrats again!! So happy for you!!!

Ernie said... [Reply to comment]

What a truly wonderful post! I am so glad the meeting with the birthmother was so positive!

Jacksmom said... [Reply to comment]

I'm so glad it was such a positive experience for you all! It sounds like it was meant to be, and I have goosebumps! I can't wait to hear about your next meeting!

Kari said... [Reply to comment]

So AWESOME!! I am so glad you are able to have such a positive relationship with Baby C's BM. That truly makes the blessing even more special!!

Rach said... [Reply to comment]

Thats wonderful things went well with the BM. So many people are scared of open adoptions (I admit, myself included!). So it's interesting to hear stories.

Faith said... [Reply to comment]

Isn't adoption such an amazing blessing?! We LOVE our son's birthparents! We are going to see them for the first time since Jackson was born in a couple of weeks and I can't wait - there is something about meeting with people who really do love your baby as much as you do that is so powerful. Thank you for sharing!

Missy said... [Reply to comment]

Wow, what an amazing visit. I Hope the meeting with the BF goes that well.

 

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