Saturday, December 4, 2010

Meeting With Baby C's BM

Our last meeting with Baby C's BM was in September. A couple of weeks ago, we were able to set-up another meeting.

After school Wednesday, I rushed home to pick up Baby C from the babysitters. When I got her back to the house, I changed her and we waited for my DH. We had to leave a few minutes after he got home.

We arrived to the agency right on time. As we were walking in, I noticed Baby C's BM peeking out the window. She spotted us. We stopped in the lobby to take Baby C out of her carseat. When we walked in the agency's doors, everyone greeted us (the receptionist, our SW and Baby C's BM). My DH held Baby C for the first few minutes of our meeting. It was a little past Baby C's feeding time, so I prepared a bottle and asked Baby C's BM if she wanted to feed her. She did. She has each time that she has visited with us. It's so neat to watch her feed Baby C, she is so gentle when she burps her. Or, trys to burp her at least.

We talked about our Thankgiving celebrations. About how her family almost caught their garage on fire when they were deep frying their turkey. We talked about her schooling and that her finals were coming up the following week. She told us herself that she is working at The P.lace and that was a good lead into our talk about seeing one another at the mall after our last visit. She said she was scared and nervous. She didn't know how to react when she saw us. We talked about how to handle situations like this in the future. We aren't quite ready to tell her how close we live to her, but we did say that running into her is a very good possibility and that the mall she works at is also "our mall." We also learned that she living back in her hometown (which is within miles of ours), but is commuting back and forth to school everyother day. The other days she stays with her grandmother who lives closer to the city.

She told us that she had to tell her mother about Baby C. Her mother got mail from their insurance agency that prompted her to call our BM and have her come home from the city (where she goes to school). Baby C's BM told us she was so nervous driving home that day. She didn't know if her mother would be mad, sad, etc... Apparently, when she walked in the door her mother was cooking. She told her about Baby C and showed her our profile and all of the pictures of Baby C she had at that point. Her mother did cry, but immediately wanted to know when she could meet us all. Our BM told her when and only if we wanted to. We didn't really discuss this at our meeting, but we were happy to hear the story. Our plan now is to meet up with Baby C's BM sometime after finaliztion and we may welcome her mother to come then. It' important to remember that Baby C's BM told her mother that the BF doesn't even know that Baby C exsist. Our BM is afraid that it would upset her mother even more if she would know that she and the BF made the decision together. We are still not sure at this point if the BF knows that the maternal birthgrandmother knows. (I hope that you followed all of that.)

Baby C's BM also told us that he didn't come to the meeting because he was working, but that led to a conversation about him not being ready to meet us yet. He is afraid that he would break down. We are hopeful to meet him soon. She did tell us that he asks her to call right after she leaves our meetings. He wants to know all of the details and he loves looking at all of the pictures. The last couple of times we have only been printing off one set, but I think that we will go back to printing off two sets of pictures. And, guess what? We finally learned his real first name! We had only known his nickname.

We have offered to set-up an email account so that we can have another form of communication. She loved the idea and immediately gave us her email address. It's easy to remember, it's made up of her name.

Our meeting last an hour and a half. Afterwards, my DH, Baby C and I stopped for dinner. Another great day as a family of three! (+ two puppies!)


Life Happens said... [Reply to comment]

Sounds like it was a great meeting! It just warms my heart to know that you guys and the BM are open to seeing one another. I think it's important to have an open relationship. I hope, eventually, you will get to meet the BF and birth grandmother. Baby C has so many people who love her!!

manymanymoons said... [Reply to comment]

You sound so happy. I'm glad everything is going so well for your family.

Abby said... [Reply to comment]

It really sounds like all the stars are alining! Congrats on another successful meeting!

Heather Allen said... [Reply to comment]

Glad you can work out a few more of the little details! We are just so blessed.


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