Today, DH and I started adding up our medical bills from last year for tax purposes (all of which were TTC related except for our eye & dentist appointments). I wanted to vomit. I looked at DH with the stack of statements in my hand and said; “I can’t do all of this again!” I really can’t!
I can’t stand that fact that money is an issue in all of this. But, it is. I can’t help that. Perhaps, we should try IVF again. That’s what my RE suggested. I just don’t see that in our near future. I am not saying that adoption is a guarantee, but I do know that that some way, somehow, we are going to be parents. I want to be a Mommy. DH wants to be a Dad.
DH and I have agreed to continue with IUIs until a certain point into the adoption process. I feel as though we may need to stop once we get on the waiting list which could be as early as this April. DH wants to stop when are matched (yes, I know matches fall through many times). Our agency doesn’t mind potential adoptive parents trying fertility treatments as long as they know. I am not sure what my RE has in mind for next cycle if this one is a no go. I am thinking she will just recommend another F.emara cycle. She doesn’t want to do an injectable cycle since she would rather us save the money to put it towards a fresh IVF cycle. However, I may mention to her that my insurance normally covers my injectables medications very well. My medications and supplies for IVF were $130.00. In comparison to what some people have to pay for their IVF medication, that’s nothing. We also need to keep in mind that we have one embryo frozen from our first IVF cycle last summer. I had thought of maybe doing another FET early summer if we aren’t already matched. Our clinic gives you 20% off when doing a frozen SET.
I just don’t know. Maybe we should just stop now. All of this money that we could spend in the nexgt couple of months could be put towards the adoption.
If somehow we do fall pregnant in the next few cycles, adoption will be put on hold once the pregnancy is found to be viable. Both of my losses have been in the firs trimester. But, DH and I have agreed that we would then go through with adoption for our second child for various reasons.
If we get to that point in this process when we should stop treatments, then we will. In the future, when considering our second child, treatments maybe revisited once more.
Updates:
No packet came in the mail today from the agency. I decided to call the agency since the classes start this Saturday and today is already Tuesday. I left a voicemail that was returned not too long after. Long story short, DH and I have our first homestudy education class this Saturday from 9am-4pm! The assistant who normally mails out the next packet of information was snowed in today, but will be in the office tomorrow. I hope that means she will be mailing it out soon! Tomorrow, we have to pay our homestudy education class fee.
7 comments:
Rachel,
To me it sounds like you have been giving your options a lot of thought. I think you make perfect sense. I don't know which route I would do as I haven't been there. I am thinking of you.
You sound very clear in all this cloudiness. Its impressive that you are so strong as you navigate the complex world of IF...I think of you often. xox
Rachel, I am new to your blog and want to thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I have been ttc since June 2009 and that seems like forever to me, so I can only imagine how you are feeling. I agree with the above comment, I think you are really thinking things through and in the end things will work out for you in a way that is perfect and meant to be.
So many questions, and no clear answers. I hope your answers come quickly and decisions are more easily made. Good luck on Saturday with the adoption class!! :)
It is really hard to figure out what to do. We were done when we began the adoption process, but then saving the money became an issue, raising the money was so hard with some people believing if you don't have the money you shouldn't do it, and quite frankly, I know of no one who has $20K sitting around waiting to spend it.
Most people I know live paycheck to paycheck like us. And when we lost all of the money we had raised with one unsuccessful fundraiser, we were devastated. We really had to decide what we thought we could handle, then our roof was an issue...our fertility clinic merged with a larger one and our costs for another IVF cycle were going to be so much less than they were before, and much much less than adoption...so here we are. We just want another child, our son is particular, he wants a baby sister like his best friend has. We've had long talks about that. We want to do SA testing for another IUI, but now are thinking we should pay down our credit cards so that we have them in case of emergency in the event I do actually end up pregnant and unable to do the overtime I have been doing.
Trust me, you are not alone!!! I hope you enjoy your first class and find it really informative. It's so exciting!!!
I wish that the options that need to be weighed were an easier part of this process, since dealing with IF is bad enough. It's also horrible that money is even an issue for most who travel down this path.
Keep us posted about how your class went yesterday.
ICLW
Here for ICLW. Your story sounds similar to mine. After a long time of ART we decided to start the adoptin process. We continued with a couple of IUI's but our heart was not in it anymore. I felt the same way about the money.
Post a Comment