3 down 1 to go

Today was another very long day! We left around 7:45am and made our usual stop at Micky Ds. I had the intention of getting up early to make breakfast, but that didn’t happen. We made it to the agency just in time. Two of the couples were a little late to the class due to the snow that we got overnight. We started class by spending a few minutes discussing the speaker from Tuesday night. It was nice hearing about what  everyonone else learned/took away from that experience. We then spent much of the morning discussing infertility and loss in general. We also started discussing the paperwork that agency and the birthmother are responsible for. Before lunch, we had the honor of listening to an adult adoptee speak. It was amazing to hear her story and the story of her family. For lunch, we went to B.lue A.sh Chili. If you have S.take N S.hakes near you, it’s the same idea. I had the biggest BLT ever! I couldn’t even eat it all. That’s a big deal for me! It was neat to go somewhere new. One of the couples in the group asked if we would like to have lunch with them and they picked the location. We relate to this couple the most. Lunch was a great experience in itself. After we returned to the agency, we talked more about the paperwork the birthmother fills outs, adoption financing, making our profile and so much more. Our last class is 3.13.10 (9-12:30pm).

Yesterday at work I was determined to get our fire inspection scheduled. After searching the internet, I found out our local fire department has a website. That was news to me. So, after an email and a couple of calls we had our fire inspection scheduled. It’s this Sunday at 9am!

So, after class was over today (we got out 15 minutes early), we headed to a local W.ally W.orld. We picked up our fire extinguisher and the outlet plugs that our inspector said that he wanted. We also picked up safety locks for our kitchen and bathroom cabinets for our safety audit during our homestudy. We also found a great book that we thought would be wonderful for our profile…so we bought four of them! That’s all they had there, but we knew that we would need a couple more. So, we headed to another W.ally W.orld to pick up two more of the books. If we don’t end up using them for some reason, I saved the receipt. We also went to H.obby L.obby to look at paper, but wee haven’t found anything just yet.

And yes… we ate dinner out….. whoops : /

When we got home, we got several things completed around the house for the inspection tomorrow morning. DH and I also did some research about the CPR class that we need. The class we are hoping to get into is 3.10.10! That’s soon too! I will call early this week to register.

Adding to my list of "TO DO":
1. Fill out our finanical statement
2. Send email to ask about Baby Basics class
3. Make evacuation plan
4. Buy curtains/blinds for bedroom for homestudy (we never put any up since we haven't used the bedroom yet)
5. Finish autobiograhpy
6. Fill our agency agreement form
7. Continue to work on profile

2 Down 2 to Go

Tuesday night we attended our 2nd homestudy education class. This class was held across the street from our agency in a hotel ballroom. A local adoption group, connected with our agency, hosts guest speakers on adoption several times throughout the year (along with the family oriented events they host). We are required 3 hours of education in the area of transcultural education and it just so happened that the adoption group had invited a guest speaker to discuss this very topic. The two hours flew by. The speaker was great! She had loads of good ideas and personal experience to back them up.

I can’t wait until DH and I get to join the adoption group. I think that it will be a good support system for us in the future.

What have we gotten done:
- Marriage license and insurance cards/verification copied
- Scheduled our physicals
- Started filling out our medical background forms
- We were fingerprinted today

Important dates coming up:
- 2.27.10 – 3rd Homestudy education class
- 3.6.10 – Physicals
- 3.6.10 – Our goal date to send out our paperwork from the ‘big’ packet
- 3.13.10 – 4th/Last Homestudy education class

What we need to be doing:
- Call about fire inspection and get things prepared by 3.6.10
- Fill out autobiography form (19 questions long) by 3.6.10
- Start thinking about profile and pick up supplies by ASAP

1 Down 3 to Go

Welcome to those visiting due to ICLW! For those of you who haven’t been here before, my history can be found on the “OUR TTC JOURNEY” page. To find out about our lastest plans, please read the post “DH and I have a confession to make.”

I am exhausted. This coming week is exam week for my students. Between missing four days in the last two weeks due to snow and trying to get my students where the needed to be, I am about pulled my hair out. On top of that, I had a college assignment due this past Friday. Let me tell you, this professor is picky. I like to be an A student and right now I am not quite sure I am going to get that A at the end of this semester. Of course, I also got a BFN Friday. I hadn’t tested at home and I also didn’t have my hopes up that that much… ok so I am fibbing. How could I not have my hopes up? My nurse presented us with several options. To learn about some of our options read this. Right now, I am waiting on AF to talk to them again.

Now back to yesterday…. DH and I left our house around 7:40am. After a quick stop at M.icky Ds, we made it to the adoption agency with a little time to spare. Other people were late. Grr…. Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect. There were nine couples there and a tenth did not show. Out of the nine couples, only two of us had no children. Of the seven other couples, two of them had adopted their first child. One of wives was an adoptee herself; it’s going to be great having her in class. The social worker leading the class adopted her two daughters through this agency. Three of the couples attending the meeting where going through another agency, but were taking their homestudy education courses through our agency.

The first part of class was spent talking about what to expect in the training, openness, the homestudy iteself and transcultural adoption. After a short break, we had three quest speakers. The first that spoke were a couple who had adopted four children through our agency. Their story was amazing. I never realized how many ups and downs adoption can have…. Just like IF. What was even better about this time was that the couple’s oldest baby’s birthmother was also in attendance. It was wonderful seeing their interaction and hearing from the birthmother herself. I would love to tell you more, but due to privacy issues I will not.

We then left for lunch. We went to Mc.Calister’s Deli. I think that’s a Cincy thing. DH had never been there.

After lunch, we talked about the adoption process itself. This took forever since the social worker had to explain two different processes (one for our agency and one for those couples attending from the other agency).

We ended the day talking more about transcultural adoption. For homework, we have a lot of reading to accomplish and even a form to fill out (we have been asked to fill out the same for that potential birthmothers are asked to see what it is like).

Our next class is Tuesday evening from 7-9pm. For this class, a speaker is coming down from C.olumbus (2 hour drive) to do a presentation about transcultural adoption. O.hio A.doption L.aws require three hours of education in that area.

On the way home, we had to make a couple of stops to return and pick up a few items. We then met, my BIL and SIL at A.pplebee’s for dinner. (Where I spilled a drink all over my SIL. Whoops….). We didn’t get home until almost 9pm.

Then, I graded a test. Did I tell you? All of my grades have to be online today by midnight! I still have a project to grade. I still have an exam to make. I have another college assignment due this Friday. My house is a mess and yes, I know…. we ate out three times yesterday!

*When we got home, the BIG packet had arrived from the agency!

Out the Door

Getting ready to leave to attend our 1st of 4 homestudy education classes! I will update later today or early tomorrow. The class is 9am-4pm EST. It takes us a little over a hour each way to get there and back. Thank you all so much for your thoughts!

Again, For The Record

Daily - Synthroid, Glucophage, Metanx, Prenatal, B. Asa., Vit. E
CD 1 - 1.23.10
CD 3-7 - Femara 7.5mg -1.25.10-1.29.10
CD 12 - Lining Check (9.5mm) & Follie Check (18.5mm on 'bad' side & 3 follies on good side, biggest @ 14.5mm) --- RE thinks that we should give it a try - 2.3.10
CD 14- Trigger @ 9pm - 2.5.10
CD 16 - IUI # 2 @ 10am - 2.7.10
Start Progesterone - 2.8.10
Beta - BFN - 2.19.10

Where Fertility Treatments Stand

DH and I have been seeing our RE since October, 2008. Of course, we were trying on our own before that initial appointment. I know that to some of you that may not seem like that long. It feels like a lifetime to us. Having been through multiple medications, ultrasounds, surgeries, procedures and low moments in our life we have come to a point in our journey where we need to try something else.

Today, DH and I started adding up our medical bills from last year for tax purposes (all of which were TTC related except for our eye & dentist appointments). I wanted to vomit. I looked at DH with the stack of statements in my hand and said; “I can’t do all of this again!” I really can’t!

I can’t stand that fact that money is an issue in all of this. But, it is. I can’t help that. Perhaps, we should try IVF again. That’s what my RE suggested. I just don’t see that in our near future. I am not saying that adoption is a guarantee, but I do know that that some way, somehow, we are going to be parents. I want to be a Mommy. DH wants to be a Dad.

DH and I have agreed to continue with IUIs until a certain point into the adoption process. I feel as though we may need to stop once we get on the waiting list which could be as early as this April. DH wants to stop when are matched (yes, I know matches fall through many times). Our agency doesn’t mind potential adoptive parents trying fertility treatments as long as they know. I am not sure what my RE has in mind for next cycle if this one is a no go. I am thinking she will just recommend another F.emara cycle. She doesn’t want to do an injectable cycle since she would rather us save the money to put it towards a fresh IVF cycle. However, I may mention to her that my insurance normally covers my injectables medications very well. My medications and supplies for IVF were $130.00. In comparison to what some people have to pay for their IVF medication, that’s nothing. We also need to keep in mind that we have one embryo frozen from our first IVF cycle last summer. I had thought of maybe doing another FET early summer if we aren’t already matched. Our clinic gives you 20% off when doing a frozen SET.

I just don’t know. Maybe we should just stop now. All of this money that we could spend in the nexgt couple of months could be put towards the adoption.

If somehow we do fall pregnant in the next few cycles, adoption will be put on hold once the pregnancy is found to be viable. Both of my losses have been in the firs trimester. But, DH and I have agreed that we would then go through with adoption for our second child for various reasons.

If we get to that point in this process when we should stop treatments, then we will. In the future, when considering our second child, treatments maybe revisited once more.

Updates:
No packet came in the mail today from the agency. I decided to call the agency since the classes start this Saturday and today is already Tuesday. I left a voicemail that was returned not too long after. Long story short, DH and I have our first homestudy education class this Saturday from 9am-4pm! The assistant who normally mails out the next packet of information was snowed in today, but will be in the office tomorrow. I hope that means she will be mailing it out soon! Tomorrow, we have to pay our homestudy education class fee.

DH & I have a confession to make...

I am not sure where to start. I’ll just go ahead and let it all out…

We have decided to look into adoption! So much has and has not happened that has led us to this step in our journey. There is so much that I need to tell you, but it would take me days to get it all out. So, my plan is to tell you about our decision, our new journey, in smaller chunks.

Foremost, I want to tell you that DH & I more than excited about this decision. My hurts flutters every time I think about being a Mommy. That is what my heart desires…

Adoption has been on my mind for a while now. And, I am sure that DH had been thinking about it also. In early January we received word that we would not be able to go through with a F.emara/Trigger/IUI cycle since I seemed to be O’ing from my ‘bad’ side (side that I am missing a tube). We were devastated once again. Sure, things had been much worse in the months prior, but this wasn’t the icing on the cake that we needed. We went through 2 miscarriages last year. The day that I got the news about not being able to even try was one of the worst days we have had in a few months. Around that time, I asked my DH if he would be willing to attend an adoption orientation meeting that I had discovered in my recent research. He agreed. The meeting was the next week, January 13th. After emails and phone calls we were on the list to attend.

At this meeting, DH and I learned so much about the process itself. We got tons of paperwork to skim over and were able to ask questions that we had. I couldn’t believe how many couples were at this orientation with us. Some of the couples had already been through the process and other s were there to look into the potential of raising a second family. But, the couples that stood out to us the most were those that we like DH and I. Some, we knew because they asked questions about adoption and ongoing fertility treatments and others we could tell just from the looks on their face. It felt good to be around people like us. It felt good to know we were the only ones.

That night we were sent home with an application. Over the next few weeks DH and I researched the internet and our hearts more. The more we learned, the more we realized that our hearts are open for adoption.

What’s happened since then you ask? Well, a lot! We have finally put things up on our walls (pictures, wall décor) and started cleaning out closets with the idea in mind that a social worker could be here in the matter of a month or so. We have started looking for books about adoption. Do you have any suggestions? We have also gotten our referrals which also meant telling some of our family about our intentions. That went really well. We have emailed the agency with a couple of questions. And, best of all… We have sent in our application! (I just checked my bank account. They cashed the check for the application fee Friday. I hope that means that they have sent out our next packet of information!)

Posts Coming soon…
1. Where Fertility Treatments Stand
2. What Type Of Adoption We Are Pursuing
3. The Process Itself

All Went Well

IUI # 2 is complete. DH's numbers were fantastic!  And, the IUI itself went smoothly. As you know, I didn't have much hope going into this IUI. So, I wasn't allowing myself to get all worked up. Well, it's hard not too.

After we got to my RE's office and in the room, I glanced at my file. In my file it said I had one follicle at 18mm on my right, one on my left at 16mm and 3 at 10mm on CD 12. I thought that my largest on my left side was 14.5mm. hmmm... I wonder if it really was 16mm ? If so... I may have a little more hope for this cycle.

Dates:
Start Progesterone - 2.8.10 (evening)
Beta - 2.19.10

I actually get to try...

I should be happy. I really should.

I had my CD 12 appointment Wednesday. My wait was a little long. And, I got into it with the billing lady. I won't get into that now.

My lining was at 9.5mm. Perfect! Then guess what we found? Yep, sure enough there was a follicle around 18.5mm. However, it was on my 'bad' side. My RE seems to always check that side first. I am sure it's just her routine. Then, she found 3 follicles on my good side. The smallest was around 10mm and the biggest around 14.5mm. The bigger one seemed to be oblong and she was having a hard time getting an accurate measurement.

She said, "it's worth a shot."

I am not too optimistic. My cup is half empty right now. My hope is long gone.... but at least I actually get to try.

Dates:
Trigger 2/5 @ 9pm
IUI # 2 2/7 @ 10am

Question:
Do you think the 14.5mm follie could release? (My appointment was CD 12. My trigger is the night of CD 14. My IUI is the moring of CD 16.)

Show & Tell # 5

Just wanted to SHARE this.

My husband brought these home for me this past Saturday, 24 of them to be exact.

He said he did it... just because.