Suck It Up & Hard Day

So, I have decided to suck-it-up and go with the flow. I just took my third dosage of F.emara. As usual, I have been getting a slight headache a few hours after I take the pills. But, it’s nothing that I can’t handle. During our TTC journey we have definitely gone through much worse. So, I hate to complain about a minor pain in my forehead.

Today, I have caught myself thinking about my Mom a lot. It’s her birthday. I have been reminded just how much I miss her… and wish she was here to talk to about all of this… she always gave me wonderful advice.

Last Cycle

Daily - Synthroid, Glucophage, Metanx, Prenatal, B. Asa.
CD 1 - 12.23.09
CD 2 U/S - 12.24.09
CD 3-7 - Femara 5mg - 12.25.09-12.29.09
CD 13 U/S - IUI Cancelled (Dominant follie on bad side) - 1.4.09
CD 22 - Progesterone Test (RE wants to see how my body reacts to the Femara (about 7dpo) - 1.13.09

Blah... that's all I can say!

I’m not pleased.

AF showed. My RE’s office is open on weekends only for follie checks, blood work, ultrasounds and procedures. I was afraid that if I waited until Monday, after school, for an appointment that I would have time to get my meds. So, I paged my RE in hopes of getting in on Sunday.

One of the nurses from my RE’s office called me back not long after. They didn’t make me wait long. She told me that Dr. T said that I don’t need to come in for an appointment. I have always had a CD 3 appointment! I really don’t understand why. She said it was since I am just doing F.emara. I don’t get it. Am I not important anymore? Do they know it’s not going to work? Do they just not care? What if I have a cyst? AM I BEING CRAZY?

I had, still have, a ton of questions to ask them. I wanted them to check my thyroid levels since they haven’t been checked since my m/c. I wanted them to do the regular CD 3 blood work-up that, mind you, I have never had. I wanted to ask my RE for her heart-felt opinion of what to do next. I wanted to learn more about another fresh IVF cycle and/or using my last frostie.

I am pissed. It’s partially my fault. The conversation happened so quickly. Why didn’t I say NO? Why didn’t I say WAIT A MINUTE?

Instead, I am to take F.emara CD 3-7. They did up my dosage from 2 to 3 pills daily in hopes of producing 2 follies instead of one. My RE wanted to see me on CD 13, but they only had morning appointments available. When we first started ttc I would miss school for anything ttc related, now I won’t… I can’t. I reminded my nurse that on CD 13 last cycle that I had a follie that was about 18mm already. So, she scheduled me an appointment on the afternoon of CD 12. I don’t have to miss school, but unfortunately my husband cannot be at the appointment since he has parent teacher conferences. I wonder what my car ride home will be like this time. I wonder if we’ll even get to try this month.

If you can’t tell already… my hope has already flown out the window for this month.

ICLW

Welcome! I can’t believe it’s time for another ICLW.

DH & I are currently… LOST! Work, college and working out… all of those areas of our lives are going so well. On the ttc front… not so much. We are at a complete standstill on what direction we want to go next. I better figure something out soon since Aunt Flo should show anytime and that means another CD 3 appointment. We know that we want to see our RE again, but we don’t know what we want do or even what we to ask her.

Do we try another F.emara/Trigger/IUI cycle? Do we ask about an injectables/Trigger/IUI cycle? Do we use our last frostie in a FET cycle? Or, do we consider a fresh IVF cycle? None of the above? When? Where? HOW MUCH IS THIS GOING TO COST?

Please think of us both over the next few days. We have a ton of decision making to do… Do you have any thoughts for us?

What's Up?

I haven't been around. I haven't had much to say. I still don't. I am in a long, drawn out tww that means nothing. I am not sure what's next. I am even unsure of my options.

Here's what's been going on:
- We had 3 SNOW DAYS in one week last week and now we only have to 2 left to use before we have to start making days up. While I love snow days, I didn't have in mind using most of them in one week.
- My RE wants me to get my progesterone checked this cycle. She wants to see how my body reacts to the F.emara we that we used. So, tomorrow after school I am off to get my progesterone checked.
- We have gotten several things completed around the house. After rearranging our living room furniture after taking down our Christmas decor, our Home looked completely bare. Since then, we have bought several pieces to hang on our wall. I hope to get some pictures posted soon. It looks so much better!
- We have purchased a blender. DH has been so excited. He can now make his own milkshakes! Me, on the other hand, I have been using mine to make protein smoothies! Do you have any good smoothie ideas?
- We live in a gated community that has a health and recreation center. We have finally started using it again.
- Our next grad class has started. This one seems to have a little more work to do than the last, but we'll manage. I had been consistently looking online to see if there was a textbook for the class; nothing was ever posted. Then, in an introduction email that we received yesterday it stated that there was. Sure enough, after logging onto the same website I had been checking I discovered the class does have a text to purchase (it wasn’t posted until last minute). To make things worse, I soon discovered that we have work due Friday. Needless to say, I had to overnight the book and pay an extra $30 to do so. Grr...

Another Bust

My appointment to check my follies and lining was originally set for CD 14 at 9:00am. My RE's surgery day is also Tuesday; therefore, I couldn't get a later appointment. However, I really didn't want to miss school again. So, they instructed me to call ahead and see if is she had surgeries schedule or not (if not my appointment could be changed). I finally got a hold of them today. I told them that I thought I may have been about ready to trigger. They were able to see me today, at 4:00pm.

Good news, my lining was great! I have really never had an issue with that. I had one follie that was a little over 5mm on my left side. On my right side, I had one smaller and one nice follie at 19mm. Perfect size to trigger! But, guess what? The right side it the WRONG side. I no longer have a tube on that side. I don't know what else to say, but to simply say that I am bummed. This cycle is a bust!

My RE mentioned something about upping my F.emara dosage from 5mg to 7.5mg next cycle (2 to 3 pills) to try to produce follies. She also wants to test my progesterone just to see what it's like on F.emara. Grrr! So, I now have to get my progesterone checked next Wednesday and it will mean nothing. She thinks I will ovulate Wednesday-ish. So, I am now waiting on AF. ... I think I want to talk to her about an injectable/IUI.

The car ride home was ... well, we won't talk about that.

Honestly, I am not sure what I want to do. I am unsure of what my heart is able to handle at this point. My emotions and thoughts are running wild. I walked in the door and immediately indulged myself in chocolate chip cookies. Dinner tonight consisted of corndogs, chips and a P.epsi. Tomorrow, I will return to my TTC diet. And, hopefully, I'll start thinking more positively about next cycle.