Plans Change: Not what we wanted...

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Not what we wanted...

Thank you all of your support, but it hasn't turned out the way we wanted. I was prepared. I had been taking HPTs since 10dpo. My beta came back negative. I am heartbroken. I feel broken. I am lost...

I am away trying to regroup. Someday, this will all be worth it...today, I just can't see that.

14 comments:

Courtney said... [Reply to comment]: Oh, I'm so sorry. Take as much time as you need to regroup. Be good to yourself and remember that you have every right to feel whatever you need to right now. I'm praying for you. I hope that 2010 is the year for all of us!; December 19, 2009 at 9:32 AM
Amber said... [Reply to comment]: I'm so, so sorry. Just know that we're all thinking about you.; December 19, 2009 at 10:57 AM
Rach said... [Reply to comment]: I'm so sorry. :( I hope the holidays and the new year will bring you some joy and renewed hope. This whole process is just cruel.; December 19, 2009 at 11:51 AM
Kari said... [Reply to comment]: So sorry... Take good care of yourself & DH during this difficult time.; December 19, 2009 at 2:41 PM
Anonymous said... [Reply to comment]: Oh my gosh, I'm SO So sorry.
((hugs))
This is just so damn unfair.
Take whatever time you need. We'll be here for you when you return.; December 19, 2009 at 3:22 PM
Michele said... [Reply to comment]: I am so so sorry. Please know that you have a circle of people around you that care!; December 19, 2009 at 8:45 PM
Nicole said... [Reply to comment]: So sorry. I wish there were better words that really conveyed the depth of sadness and empathy we have for you, but at least you know that if there were- we would all use them. :(; December 20, 2009 at 2:33 AM
Priscilla said... [Reply to comment]: Oh no, Rachel. I'm just SO SORRY for your pain and utter dissapointment. This is just awful news and really poor timing too with the holiday's and everything. I'm sending ((hugs)) your way. xx; December 20, 2009 at 12:50 PM
embieadoptmom said... [Reply to comment]: Rachel,

I AM SO SORRY...Thinking of & praying for you.

Jen; December 20, 2009 at 5:16 PM
Jess said... [Reply to comment]: Oh Rachel! {{{HUGS}}} I am so sorry. Praying for you and your hubby.; December 20, 2009 at 5:35 PM
AL said... [Reply to comment]: I'm so sorry. It is so unfair.

*Hugs*; December 20, 2009 at 6:03 PM
Jenny said... [Reply to comment]: Here from ICLW, and just wanted to let you know I am so sorry. This is such a heartbreaking process sometimes. Thinking of you at this difficult time.; December 21, 2009 at 9:34 AM
gringa78 said... [Reply to comment]: My heart is breaking for you because I felt that way after my failed IVF this summer. Devastated doesn't even scratch the surface. Be kind to yourself, take care of yourself, and hang in there. I'm thinking of you and you're not alone.; December 21, 2009 at 4:23 PM
Anonymous said... [Reply to comment]: I'm sorry. I wish there were more I could say or do... *hugs* You are in my prayers.; December 22, 2009 at 7:51 PM

TTC #4

10.12 - Consultation w/ RE
12.7 - CD 1
12.9-12.13 - CD 3-7 Femara 5mg
12.21 - CD 14 U/S
12.22 - Trigger (around 9pm)
12.25 - IUI
1.5 - Beta (-)
1.7 - CD 1
1.9-1.13- CD 3-7 Femara 5mg
1.20 - CD 14 U/S
1.20 - Trigger (around 9:15pm)
1.22 - IUI
2.2 - 11dpiui AM FMU Home Test (-)
2.3 - Beta (-)

2.6 - CD 1

2.8-2.12 - CD 3-7 Femara 7.5mg

2.18 - U/S

2.19 - Trigger (around 10)

2.21 - IUI

3.3 - Home Test (-)

3.4 - Beta (-)

3.6 - CD 1

3.8-3.12 - CD 3-7 Femara 7.5mg

3.17 - U/S

3.19 - Trigger

3.21 - IUI

4.1 - Beta (+) called at 4:15pm, HCG 32.5

4.3 - Beta #2 HCG 112, P4 43

4.7 - Beta #3 HCG 659, P4 39.41

4.18 - U/S #1 6w, Saw gestational sac, yolk sac, baby and heartbeat, measured well

4. 23 - Small bleeding episode right before bed, Called RE

4.24 - U/S #2 7w, Baby measuring well, Saw heartbeat, Everything looked fine

5.2 - U/S #3 8w, Baby measuring well, Set Due Date to 12.11.17, Saw and Heartbeat (around 170bpm), Released from RE
5.8 - First OB appointment, 9w, History, Stats, Concerns, Used Doppler and Heard Heartbeat (around 170 bpm)

5.9 - Found out results of urinalysis, Had UTI and started antibiotics

6.1 - Panorama & NT Scan, 12w3d

6.5 - 13w, OB Appointment

6.14 - 14w2d, Nurse In-Take Phone Call

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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Not what we wanted...

14 comments:

TTC #4

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